Which of Joanne's favourite ideal and actual elements are your favourites?
a) stopping and smelling and talking to the roses
b) rolling out of bed and into a yoga / tai chi practice?
c) gratitude?
d) early nights?
Let us know in the comments :)
TODAY'S GUEST
Joanne Mallon is the author of How to Find Calm and other books, a podcaster and one of the UK’s most experienced life and career coaches. She has featured in The Guardian, BBC News, The Independent, Daily Telegraph, Daily Express, The Mirror, Psychologies, Woman and Home, London Evening Standard, Red, The Big Issue, Sainsburys magazine and many other publications and websites. Joanne has also appeared on BBC radio and many other radio shows and podcasts.
Find out more at joannemallon.com
WHO AM I?
I'm your producer and host, Eve Menezes Cunningham, author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing (Pen & Sword, 2017), freelance journalist and Editor-in-Chief of the Irish Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy.
I'm also an online trauma therapist (with lived experience), supervisor and Self care coach (integrating yoga therapy, NLP, EFT and crystals as appropriate) helping people connect with and take better care of their Self. Past Chair of BACP Coaching, I run Feel Better Every Day with Eve Menezes Cunningham (aka selfcarecoaching.net).
I started The Feel Better Every Day Podcast in 2023 because I realised that even with the focus of my work being self and Self care (for 20 years now!), I often struggle.
And so do so many of my colleagues. We're all human! So I interviewed several of them including neuroscientists, authors writing about health and wellbeing, fitness professionals, therapists, coaches, energy workers and medical professionals.
We ALL have gaps and even gulfs between what we would LOVE to be doing for ourselves each day and what we actually do.
My hope with each episode is that you'll go easier on yourself and do something rather than nothing from your own ideal self or Self care repertoire.
Create a life you don't need to retreat from! Let me know how you get on! I really love hearing from y'all.
WANT TO WORK WITH ME?
You can access loads of resources at selfcarecoaching.net and your whole self is also very welcome to join Embodied with Evei at evemc.substack.com Even if you're listening to this later, you'll gain instant access to the rich archive of recordings from the time you join.
Thanks again for watching, listening, reading, sharing, commenting, reviewing, subscribing and joining us.
@thefeelbettereverydaypodcast @evemenezescunningham
TRANSCRIPT
Hi, I'm Eve Menezes Cunningham, and welcome to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast, helping you connect with and take better care of yourself and create a life you don't need to retreat from.
Welcome to episode 32 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. Today's guest is the delightful Joanne Mallon. She's the author of many books around self-care, hosts a podcast called 5 Minutes to Change Your Life, is a media coach and all-around delightful human.
I really appreciate her grounded, habitual approach to self-care and hope that it inspires you to think about whatever it is you want to introduce, remember, or try out. Consider how you can make it as easy as possible for yourself and try habit stacking—picking something you already do without thinking about it, like adding gratitude to your shower.
Think about something simple, something so easy you almost can't do it. Also, let me know what you struggle with. I was determined to adopt that sleep approach, and it's still very up and down for me.
I'm a night owl by nature, and I realise that even saying that embeds that identity as a late-night person, which I struggle with the most. But I am much better than I used to be. Enjoy the episode!
Eve: Thank you so much, Joanne, for joining me. I feel like I know Joanne way better than I actually do because we've been online friends now for nearly two decades.
Joanne: Wow, is it as long as that? I think we've only actually met face-to-face maybe once or twice.
Eve: Yeah, but it's one of those things where the people who live in my phone feel like better friends than they are in real life. Thank you so much for being part of this; it’s a joy.
Joanne: Thank you.
Eve: Joanne is a media coach and career coach, one of the UK's best-known, featured in most major newspapers and magazines. You're also an author of many books, so you're known for both writing and coaching. What are you working on at the moment?
Joanne: There are a few things going on. My writing tends to be more life coaching, focusing on general well-being. I have a book coming out soon about how to be calm. I'm trying to get as calm as I can myself because you can't be the calm person and be running around like a blue arsed fly, can you?
So I'm working on myself to get as calm as I can. In my coaching practice, I focus mostly on career coaching, particularly for people in media, like journalists, authors, and TV producers. I've dialled that down a bit right now while the book is coming along, but it's still ongoing.
I also have a podcast called 5 Minutes to Change Your Life, where I discuss small things we can do that make a big difference.
Eve: I was on one of your episodes ages ago. I love your bite-sized format; it's practical. So, if you could start by telling me what your ideal morning routine would be like?
Joanne: My ideal routine would have to involve me being a completely different person. I'd love to be someone who wakes up naturally when the sun comes up and springs out of bed ready to make some magic happen, but alas, that's not who I am. I don't think I'm going to suddenly become a morning person right now. However, during the pandemic lockdown, I developed quite a regular morning routine, which I didn't really have before.
When my alarm clock goes off, I put on the same pair of pyjama trousers and sweatshirt, then I do yoga. Yoga was something I started during the pandemic because I wanted a bit of time for myself. All the time at home because of lockdown was lovely with my family, but you still want to be a bit of time to yourself
Eve: Absolutely
Joanne: Recently this year, I've been doing Tai Chi using a fantastic YouTube series called 100 Days of Tai Chi. It's 100 videos, each one 10 or 20 minutes long, teaching the basics and building up to a routine. I just roll into it without thinking about it.
After that, I get in the shower, and that's when I do my daily gratitude routine. Daily gratitude is a brilliant thing to do. When I started this habit, I thought about what I already do every day. I have a shower in the morning, so while I'm in there, I think of three things I'm grateful for in that moment. It could be something coming up that day, a decent night's sleep, or just that my family is safe and well. All of that together puts me in a really good frame of mind.
When I finally get down to my office, I've started going outside for five minutes before I start my day. I've written a few books over the last couple of years about small things that make a big difference, and being in nature is one of those things. There is so much scientific evidence that it's really good for you on many physical and mental levels. I go outside into my small garden, where I've gotten really into growing roses. I've gone from zero to ten different roses packed into this tiny space. I say good morning to them, and I have a little chat with them. One of the roses that isn't doing well is the Paul McCartney Rose, so I go up to him and ask how he's doing, picking off any leaves that look sick. Then I come back to my day, and I'm in a really good mood.
The downside to all of this is that if you wanted an appointment to speak to me for coaching, it won't happen until later because I have this long morning routine. I know for me, I don't book appointments because I need that time for myself first.
Eve: Do you sing to the Paul McCartney rose?
Joanne: I haven't yet, but that's a good thought! I do sing in the car sometimes. One of my books is about overcoming the fear of driving. About 15 or 20 years ago, I had a long-running phobia of driving, which I overcame and ended up writing a book called How to Overcome the Fear of Driving. Now, anytime I'm driving, I'm super happy because I remember what it was like to be too scared to do so. I have a driving playlist that I sing along to, but I haven't sung to little Paul yet. Perhaps I need to try that tomorrow morning!
Eve: I want to ask about your actual morning routine when things are more of a struggle, when you have to pare it down. What would be the most essential thing for you?
Joanne: It’s tricky because sometimes you just have to get on with life. One thing I struggle with in the morning is getting distracted by my phone. I've been trying to break that habit for a while. I read recently that if you look at your phone first thing in the morning rather than your partner, it's not great. I find myself looking at my phone instead of my husband, who is fast asleep. I'm trying to break that habit; it's awful. I think I need to buy a non-phone-based alarm clock so I don't have an excuse to have it in the room.
I find I'm hooked on the dopamine rush of seeing how many people have been listening to my podcast overnight. Unfortunately, that leads me to pick up my phone and get distracted. So, while I have the routine in theory, real life can be different. I know I have the ability to change this, but I'm struggling to do so.
The gratitude practice always stays because I always have a shower, no matter if I'm running late. I still jump in the shower, and that doesn’t take any extra time. I guess, as you're saying, a morning routine can build up to be quite time-consuming. I'm lucky that I'm at a stage in life where I don't have to do the school run or be anywhere for a particular time in the morning, so I have the choice. Each of these individual things isn't that time-consuming, like the gratitude practice, which I can do while I'm in the shower or brushing my teeth. Layering it on top of something I already do makes it easier to embed in my routine.
Eve: What about later in the day? Do you have any ideal things you do each day, and what’s the reality?
Joanne: I'm pretty strict about going to bed. I believe in the restorative powers of simple things in life, like drinking water, walking, exercising, and sleep. If you're not sleeping well, it undermines everything. I go to bed at 10 p.m. every night and read a book. I might do a face mask or something quiet to relax. I'm very good about not being on my phone late at night. I turn off the light around 11 p.m. and don't stay up any later than that.
I keep it quite simple. I don’t snack in the evening, which could be considered intermittent fasting. I don’t eat after dinner because I've read that it’s good for your body to have a long rest from digestion. I don't drink much caffeine, and during the week, I don't drink alcohol. I might have a few glasses of wine on the weekend, but I keep it simple. I think if you get the basics of self-care in place, everything else lines up behind it.
Eve: One of the questions I ask everyone is about self-care with an uppercase "S"—that highest, wisest, wildest, truest, most joyful part of yourself. How would you respond to that in terms of a self-care routine connecting with the divine?
Joanne: I'm not quite sure this is part of what you're talking about, but I'm a big fan of a well-being walk or mindfulness walk. I go out for a walk pretty much every day, just around the local park or wherever I feel like going. I make a point not to listen to music or podcasts during that time. I focus on the present moment, paying attention to what my feet feel like in my shoes, the air on my face, and what I can see and smell.
I find that both in writing and creating podcasts, I look to see what my instinct is telling me needs to be said. You need a certain amount of quiet to be open to your higher self. For me, writing a podcast script often involves going for a long walk to access whatever needs to be said rather than forcing it.
Eve: Thank you so much! How can people get in touch with you?
Joanne: I'd love it if people would come and listen to my podcast, 5 Minutes to Change Your Life. If they want to find out about my books or coaching, they can check out my website, which is under joannemallon.com. I'm also on Instagram and Twitter, so I'm not hard to find if people want to say hello.
Eve: Thank you so much! I really appreciate your time.
Joanne: No, again, thank you very much for having me.
Eve: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. As you listened to Joanne, I hope she encouraged you to think of tiny tweaks you can make to your routine and ways you can habit stack to make those changes easier. I'd love to know what you think you should be doing.
Hopefully, by now, in episode 32, if you've listened to all of them, you recognize that we all have ideas about what others are doing and what we should be doing. You don't have to be anyone other than your glorious, wondrous self. Make your routine support you rather than thinking you have to do something magically different.
Let me know how you get on. If you haven't already, please rate, review, and share this episode with someone you think might benefit. This episode, like all of them, has been produced by me, your host Eve Menezes Cunningham Next week is the last interview episode of the first season of the Feel Better Every Day podcast with Colleen Kneafsey. After that, I will summarise all my lessons from my amazing guests. I've learned so much from this whole process, and I hope you have too. I'm already looking forward to the second season. Thanks again for listening; I really appreciate it!
The Feel Better Every Day Podcast episode 32: Joanne Mallon