Releasing the pressure of 'wellbeing'
An Inside Out 2 inspired subtle and enormous (feeling) change to this community...
I couldn't wait to see Inside Out 2 and, as expected, welled up a bit (no full on sobbing so yay!)
I think it's safe to say, without spoilers, that Joy is a wonderful guide.
In the film, Joy has led the way for young Riley as she’s learned to navigate all her feelings and while she sometimes dismissed Anger, Fear, Sadness and Disgust, she learned in the first film that they’re all needed.
Of course, with puberty, Riley has a new set of emotions to navigate and Anxiety tries to take over (and they did a wonderful job showing that Anxiety was ultimately trying to protect her).
Let joy be your guide
Almost all the yoga nidras I facilitate encourage a deeper connection with the joy that is everyone’s birth right in order to use it as a guide, as far as possible, when making big and small decisions.
AND it's so important to befriend our anxiety and make room for an WELCOME all the feelings.
Don’t let an idea of joy, or wellbeing or ANYTHING you think you SHOULD be feeling turn into toxic positivity
I actually feel physically nauseous right now having changed my Substack publication name from Embodied Wellbeing to Embodied
‘Embodied wellbeing’ has been one of my taglines since I used it for the subtitle of my book - 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing (Pen & Sword, 2017) - which went to the publishers in 2016.
And even this nauseous feeling reminds me of when I was in the early stages of my own journey with embodiment.
I was fortunate to interview the fantabulous Martha Beck and attended one of her workshops in London the next day.
Long before I did my trauma informed yoga therapy training and other somatic work (and JUST before I embarked on the 4 years’ psychosynthesis counselling training) Martha encouraged us to connect with the physical sensations we felt when recalling an excellent decision and a terrible decision.
In both of mine, nausea played a strong role but I quickly learned to discern between the good nausea of excitement and comfort zone expansion and the warning bells of bad nausea.
I adore all things wellbeing AND there’s richness in ALL the feelings
And (as a trauma therapist and survivor - and, let’s face it, HUMAN) I also recognise that life ISN’T all sunshine, rainbows and kittens.
Removing ‘wellbeing’ from the title and focusing on ALL things embodied won’t stop me sharing self care ideas and practices to help you enhance your life BUT I want to emphasise that pain can be part of trauma recovery
Pain is a natural part of life.
In my own journey, I remember having an epiphany that a traumatic experience as a very young child was not my fault.
I’d always had the fragments of memories around it but had internalised an enormous amount of blame and shame.
This epiphany, during a meditation, rocked my world and… spiralled me into a deep depression.
Fortunately, I was able to come out of it and train as a coach and then in therapy after therapy to help myself and then so many clients, supervisees, groups and readers but at the time, holy macaroni… being embodied (and newly sober!) felt far removed from any kind of wellbeing.
Joy - and wellbeing - have their place
I mostly remember to tell new clients and supervisees that while my practice is called Feel Better Every Day with Eve Menezes Cunningham, we sometimes feel WORSE as more comes up for healing.
And that feeling all the feelings (in a grounded, resourced, trauma informed, SAFE way) is totally worth it.
I won’t say any more about the film because I nearly gave away something that WOULD have been a spoiler but I would love to hear from you.
Do you feel pressure to feel happy? Well? Joyful?
How would it feel to just let yourself feel HOWEVER you want to feel?
One of my favourite meditations (which is included in the book), is one from Thich Nhat Hanh and it involves simply noticing the most prominent feeling (maybe an itch, warmth, cold, rage, gratitude, anxiety, excitement, love - whatever) that comes up in your body and simply saying, ‘I feel … [whatever the feeling is]’
NAMING IT.
Remembering that you’re MORE than WHATEVER it is that you’re feeling.
And then (advanced practice alert)… ‘I WELCOME… [whatever the feeling is]’
Some feelings are way easier to welcome than others
But there is SO much power in owning it all.
My hope is that by not just sharing ‘embodied wellbeing’ but ALL things embodied, you’ll find it easier to connect with your own messier feelings and emotions.
To let sunlight be the wondrous disinfectant it is.
You might use your journal and this community (join us on Friday for a special Solstice Circle to help you let yourself SHINE)
You might also have a conversation with a trusted loved one. Or a therapist or coach or other professional. (I’m pretty much at capacity but if my approach appeals, do feel free to get in touch in case we can find a mutually convenient time.)
le grá,
Sounds like a good movie